Somewhere out there is the person or persons who invented Chuck e Cheese. I am convinced that whoever deserves the credit either does not have children, or if they do, does not take their children to Chuck e Cheese under any circumstances. If you’ve never been, it’s one of those places whose true cacophony must be experienced first-hand. The FDA should conduct clinical trials of blood pressure medicines there. The formula is simple; machines that make noise plus kids that make noise equals happy kids. Some parents are immune to the noise. I’m not some parents–never have been, don’t see it happening any time soon. I could feel the pressure build, the parents around me were coping the best they could. One father whose eyes looked like those in Edvard Munch’s painting “The Scream” was popping Xanax like they were jellybeans.

I collected a group of parents and we sequestered ourselves behind the skeet-ball. “We’ve got to come up with something to ensure we never have to do this again,” I whispered, trying to rally my charges.

“I can’t do this anymore,” replied a frail-looking man who had developed a nervous tick.

I paused and pondered as an idea flittered past my id. Then I started a smile which soon covered my face.

“What?” asked Tick man.

“Yes, tell us,” implored The Scream.

It was a coloring outside the lines idea if there ever was one. “WebEx,” I barked as the idea began to take shape. “We do virtual birthday parties on WebEx. We each login our children from the comfort of our home. No screaming kids, no cold pizza, no spilled soda. It’s perfect. While they’re doing that, we can be in another room watching football.”

The idea had legs right up until the point where my wife overheard it. “You old Grinch. Get back over here with your son.” I caved, but I’m holding the idea in reserve.

Thinking outside the box. In creating the vision for re-engineering your work flows, why start there? That’s where everyone starts. Remember, if everyone’s thinking outside the box, all that means is that the box has moved and everyone is back in it. Why not create a vision that includes something like re-engineering all non-clinical patient-facing activities? A stretch goal is not trying to reduce billing calling by fifty percent. That’s what world class providers are trying to do. Other stretch goals might be asking questions like;

1. What would have to happen to the practice to be able eliminate eighty percent of all patient complaints?
2. What would it take to move half of all patient contacts to the web?
3. What would happen to first patient satisfaction if you set a goal to use social media to explain how to resolve claims problems?

So, where are we? We need a project champion, who has executive sponsorship, and who is willing to create a vision that has some legs.

Oh, I forgot to mention that after we left Chuck e Cheese we had all the seven year-olds over to our house for a sleep over.  I should have stayed at Chuck e Cheese; it was quieter.