(AP) New York. It is Reservoir Dogs 2.0 only this time the terrorists appear to be a clean-shaven group of EPCI subject matter experts. Reuters is reporting that early this morning the group of EPIC consultants, each one armed to the teeth with iPads and wireless mice and Blackberrys was last seen forcing a rag-tag group of hospitalists and CIOs into a windowless, upper floor room of the convention center. It is rumored that a senior analyst from McKesson was also a member of the terrorist group, albeit in a non-billable role.
CMS has long been suggesting that with the huge shortage of skilled EHR specialists that sooner or later those with the knowledge would rise up and hold the providers hostage.
A spokesperson for the terrorists with a background in CPOE released a list of their demands. They demand to have their rates tripled, to have an organic smoothie machine placed in the hospital cafeteria, and the right to remain employed even though the EHR will drop productivity by thirty percent.
One terrorist who demanded anonymity stated “I do not know why everyone looks so surprised that their EHR software does not work. Nobody asked if it would work, they just wanted us to install it.”