Last week I attended the If It Walks, You Can Hunt It convention. Hunters—no gatherers allowed—convened from across the globe. People whose firms make things for hunters to use to kill things were scattered across five hundred thousand square feet of convention floor, offering everything from how to properly kit yourself in trendy camo prior to eviscerating the last Dodo bird using only a rudimentary can opener, to hunting deadly hamsters with Stinger missiles.
I was interested in learning about hunting deer, not because I like to hunt deer, but because I like to eat it, and until they start selling deer at my local convenience store, my options are limited. Apparently there are numerous weapons one can use to hunt deer. There is the eco-friendly method whereby the eco-mentalist warrior lies naked under a pile of compost and recycled Priuses—not sure if the plural should be Prii, and tries to lay waste to the poor beast by making it listen to an entire Celine Dion CD. However, this degree of cruelty is banned in fifty-one states.
Of course, there are the more traditional methods using bullets and arrows, although not in combination as this would be redundant.
I did notice a large crowd of mono-eyebrowed men listening to a pitch in one corner of the hall. I made my way in that direction and listened to a very enthusiastic salesman talking about how to hunt deer with a fly swatter. “You will find,” he continued “more people will choose to hunt deer with a fly swatter than with any other device. It is less cumbersome, it is inexpensive, and you do not have to feed it.”
I thought about his agreement as I watched hundreds of men line up to buy fly swatters. “Has anyone ever killed a deer with a fly swatter?” I asked.
“Of course not,” the salesman replied in hushed undertones. “Just because more people buy it does not mean it does what they want it to do.
Segue. Orlando. HIMSS. “We have more EHR customers than anyone else.”
“How is your productivity?” Asked the cynic.
Do not listen to the man selling fly swatters. It really does not matter which of the top five EHR products you buy. What matters is how well you install it.
Bzzzzzz….This fly has been bugging me all day.